Uh oh

These problems had better be related to my thyroid.


Brain stultified!

I've been doing some spring cleaning. My kitchen and bedroom are looking pretty good, save the garbage disposal breaking. Yeesh - 30 years old and it breaks! Next up are the living room and bathroom, followed by sorting out all the junk I'm giving to charity. After that, I'll clean the basement as I see fit. Awesome!

Hopefully after all this I'll have some time to learn new/old things. I impulsively bought some CD language courses at the bookshop the other day. I have intros to French, Italian and Spanish. If those go well, I might look into German. I heard somewhere that studying several languages at once aids with retention. Either I will become a competent speaker of many tongues or a moron who speaks his own unintelligible language.

So THIS is why people assume I'm dumb!

I know you think we're all this way: http://moronswithsigns.blogspot.com



Talking with my sister has been a gold mine of information. It has told me who I am, which is much different than what I thought. Years ago, I researched a guy from St. Louis who was the son of Jewish immigrants from France. I thought this man was my paternal grandfather. Nope! It turns out my paternal grandfather, who has the exact same name as this man, is from Cleveland, Ohio. According to my sister, my background is German/Swiss/Puritan. I guess it's interesting as I am directly descended from a major figure in early Colonial history, but it's also disappointing. I don't like coming from a Lutheran/Puritan background - it's boring! I know intellectually that ancestry is not indicative of who I am, but to go from being different to just another boring Protestant honky is tough. The Shafer family heirloom is a handwritten German Bible, fer chrissakes. 500 years and we still have a Bible? Damn.


I spoke with my sister tonight. We hadn't spoken in a while due to loss of phones on both our parts. It was nice to chat again for half an hour. It's funny the things that we have in common, given that we met when I was 26. I saw a Facebook shot of her giving an expression of boredom that I often give - where I tilt my head down and to the left, eye askew. Despite the fact she's a cute, happy woman and I an ugly, grouchy guy, it's an obvious similarity. What's makes things easy for two people who met so late on to bond is that we're both excessively chatty. I know everyone hates me for this trait, but it's made me a lot of friends.

I've been singing Jerry Jeff Walker tonight. I have no clue why.



If figure skating is considered a sport, la lutte professional might as well be in the summer Olympics.



Yeah, I'm childish.
Er, click on the image to see the whole thing.


I prefer delusion to clarity. So little matters to me now I can't get excited. Whoever sold simplicity as peace did not have it all together. I understand why people find religion - it shuts up that nagging little voice telling you off for a million different things. Perhaps god is simply the manifestation of the conscience, as many much sharper than I have already surmised. They're certainly linked. Community guilt is easier to cope with than that very personal guilt coming from a lifetime of offences. I certainly have an easier time apologising to an abstract concept about the myriad people I have wronged in my time. I will certainly punish myself more severely than any sounding board made up of my notions of eternity. I almost wish I were on drugs so I wouldn't write soppy shit like this.

This all began when a coworker said in short I'll never have a soulmate. I've let that marinate a bit and focused on the idea of god/the soul and how this idea affects relations rather than the extremely hurtful intimation that I am unlovable. I have always been proud of my militant rejection of the soul. I stand by that rejection. The soul as a concept isn't necessarily god, but god is a terrific catchall for many different traditions. Soul is a great nickname for the processes by which we regulate ourselves emotionally and morally. It's so good that many who call themselves irreligious affix all sorts of ethereal qualities to the 'soul', and a person who fits enough of one's physical, mental, financial and moral wants is called a 'soulmate'. It's interesting the lengths to which people will go to assert that someone is 'the one for them'. Based on pure numbers, everyone has many soulmates from which to choose - we are a generic bunch when you get down to animal needs like mating. This is not to say connections aren't important, but rather that we can't shut out new people and things out of course. Your better than best friend might be around the corner.


The future


Seriously - hand-writing taxes is a waste of ink and fuel, but my beloved Revenuers won't make -efiling free. I have to go through some intermediary that will charge for doing State forms at the very least. I'm not about to pay $110 for the privilege of doing the government's accounting for them. As such, tomorrow I will print off my tax forms and do the whole thing by hand, sending them to the 3 governments to whom I answer by registered mail. This will save me about $100. Way to keep it green, Uncle Sam.