Take off that silly-ass hat!

What city should I migrate to? Please take these rules into account:

- Cannot be on the West Coast or South
- Lots of culture
- Good public transit
- Cool weather
- Not in a Republican-controlled area



I want fulfillment.





The internets are crawling with losers. Most are good enough to call themselves Libertarians up front, but with others you have to dig. Anyone who still values the ramblings of von Mises is a lunatic with too much of Daddy's money.


As much for me as others


It took me an hour to remember what my photobucket 'name' was.

The national nightmare is over

After many months, the wart on my finger is finally gone. I tried every cheap method available until finally plunking the $15 down and letting the experts at Compound W® do their thing. I missed my knuckle.

Ah, a full day's supply of vitamin C

Stupid city. Why have a city when you still have to drive everywhere? I feel like I'm in LA, except not quite as terrible. These 'new' major cities are all like that: giant urban sprawl with a bunch of rednecks in SUVs. Atlanta, DC, Houston, Miami... well pretty much every southern city is a giant, charmless strip of parking lots and chain restaurants. Unfortunately it seems like they're the only places with work. Something about having to import smart people, I guess.


Up in 4.5 hours

Dear god. I have to go be fingerprinted just to stay in the running for a seasonal job. Talk about clawing my way up! If I were smarter I'd have done something related to the sciences as an undergrad and have money thrown at me for doing so. I wish I'd had more lucrative ambitions. I need to move to Chicago.

Up in 4.5 hours

Dear god. I have to go be fingerprinted just to stay in the running for a seasonal job. Talk about clawing my way up! If I were smarter I'd have done something related to the sciences as an undergrad and have money thrown at me for doing so. I wish I'd had more lucrative ambitions. I need to move to Chicago.


A taste of the 'Deen for we lost souls.


Hilarious. I used to stop in this place all the time on the way to work.


Apparently I'm a bad person. Heard that several times today. Why is it I get criticisms from every corner, but when things go right nobody's around? It's annoying.



Well, on the plus side I got rid of most of the bugs. On the minus side, the animals still have fucking fleas. Hooray having to go to the damn sto' to buy expensive as hell Frontline®. Jerks.


Michael Vick

I have an idea for this clown: instead of sending him to prison, let him keep playing football. Every time he makes a mistake, somebody will either electrocute, drown or hang him. What a horrible excuse for a human being.

100% Awesome

I frequent the best bar ever. Today I heard a pretty awesome story about the guy who runs the place. Once he was up there just hanging out while off work and overheard a guy call two Middle Eastern guys playing shuffleboard something pretty nasty. Apparently the guy was up like a shot, grabbed this fellow around the neck and fired him out the door without a word. That's what we like to see!



Hae you ever had three different people say 'that's why you're single' to you in the same day? I laughed it off each time, but the aggregate is... wow. Yeah...



The dog has fleas, and they're all over. I have to use one of those 'bug bombs' to kill them, and I can't do that now because I'd have to take the cat and me elsewhere to sleep. This is going to be itchy.


Hooray the Englishes!

I like how this website and many others lazily format '1 comments' instead of '1 comment', with plurals added thereafter. I like many the comments! Hooray!


Jimmy Kimmel

Seriously, the most unfunny human being ever. His big joke was going to video of girls jumping on trampolines. That isn't funny. 'The Man Show' set back gender relations for decades, and with good reason. Were I a female, I'd want no part of any dude who found that braying jackass funny.

In other news, my face is itchy.



I'll just sleep it off.


...then comes the bad.

I remember being 16 and sneaking into my first bar when these things were on special. Everything you assume would happen with a bar full of bat-shaped beer bottles happened. I thought I was going to die.

Post 101: quality

Following in the footsteps of our esteemed Ms. Ditte, I'm 'a list stuff that makes me smile. It may take a sec.

- salt air
- the dog, despite not being sure what breed she is
- cat, of course
- whisky
- beer, bourgeois and prole
- when the plane lands
- Hüsker Dü
- The Boondocks
- friends, fam, all that
- hearing something new
- a good tomato
- [keepin' to myself]
- a woman who won't back down
- Indian Summer
- Black Thorn pizza
- golf (also featured on 'things that make me swear a lot')
- Saint John, New Brunswick
- New York City
- Aberdeen
- hearing people discuss TV and having NO idea what they're talking about
- those cheesy home improvement and cooking shows
- related to above: guilty pleasures
- tomorrow


How dumb do they think I am?

While checking the Federal gummint's jobs website, I keep running across jobs with the military where reserve membership is required. Apparently they think I'm dumb. If I wanted to join the armed forces and be shoved to Iraq, I'd sign up directly and get the cash bonus.
I want snow. I want snow. I want snow.

Aargh. In a few days, the good people of the website I ordered from 2 minutes ago will send me the ear medicine my dog needs. She'll be very happy, I think. I'm happy because I can keep oiling her ears to provide relief and not have to take her
to the vet for a problem even I can diagnose.


Proof that we've gone ^&%&$*# crazy.



A Fresh Step, indeed!

I am SO happy I spent the few extra bucks on the premium cat litter. Normally brand name means absolutely nothing, but Gilbert and I both feel this product to be worthwhile.


On this Independence Day

I'll not be sarcastic. I live in a generally decent place that, while annoying, gives me the luxury of seeking my muse. People can suck, but they mostly stay out of my way. Beer is plentiful and cheap, as are flights to see the world. Life could definitely be worse; I could live in the South. BBQ well, my people, and a cheerful (loud - you know how I get) hello to everyone else.



Someone caused a gas leak. No need to name any names, but he ran over a valve while mowing the lawn yesterday. Now the house does not have any gas, and I have to call a plumber. On the plus side, nothing blew up.


Why don't I just call myself Bananaman?

Apply apply apply. It's more work than work!